Sorry, goes on a bit but worth a read.
One that springs to mind for me was up in Scotland, I was hooning about on my then SP2, on a sunny Sunday (yes I know, it really was the sun out in Scotland), came up on a traffic car naturally travelling at just below the speed limit. I had about 6 bikes in front of me, none of which I knew who all overtook the plod safely and carried on.
Now I though about for a while and though "sod it" I'll give it a go. My SP2 had a pair of cans on which were a little bit loud but not offensive and a small numberplate, so I kind of knew that as soon as I passed them, they'd give me a tug for something out of nothing.
I overtook them gently trying not to make too much of a noise about it, carried on my way keeping a close eye in the mirror. Sure enough they followed me for about 15 miles up my chuff before they decided to pull me in for "A chat!"
Soon as they got out the car I said "You took your time didn't you?" "15 miles before deciding to pull me in?" Smug reply from them as expected.
Cut a very long story short, they decided to give me a ticket for my small numberplate, so they were obviously bored in having a slow day.
(Problem for me though was they never explained to me at the side of the road what was wrong with the numberplate "he says winking", so after a little thinking I thought I'd go to court for a laugh and contest it.)
I ended up in Selkirk Sheriffs court for "The Trial" (seriously, they called it a trial) my time was scheduled for 10:30am. Well These coppers had to be there to give evidence, so they were also there with me for the duration. Now the court as it turned out started to run late, 10:30 came and went, as did 12:30, then the judge stands up and says "the time is now 1pm, we shall break for lunch, everybody in agreement?" Well I stood up and said, "No, I've been here since 9:30am, my trial was supposed to be two and a half hours ago and unlike most of the people you have seen this morning, I have a job to go back to."
Well fuck me, he agreed and said proceed with the trial as planned! ha ha, I couldn't believe it I was just being cheeky!
My turn came, the prosecution was going on about my numberplate and its font size and style, passing pictures around the court and judge and getting the officers take on it.
Well I already knew I was going to lose but I had my piece to say and had earned the right to say it.
One of the coppers lead me down to the dock for me to speak, the judge addressed me, then asked me if that was indeed my bike, and the picture was of my numberplate, to which I agreed it was etc.
The judge then asked me for my defence, so I said....
"Well sir, it was like this, I was stopped on my motorcycle by these two officers on my day off where I was enjoying a nice day out after the stresses of work, when my pleasure was interrupted by the two police officers in attendance here today. After a lengthy conversation at the roadside where I was in full co-operation, at no point did they inform me of why they were giving me the ticket and what constituted an offence with regards to the numberplate, I was just told it was illegal and was issued with a notice to rectify along with a £30 fixed penalty notice."
Now I went on to say, "Was I not entitled to a full explanation at the roadside as to the reason I was being given this ticket, as I do not have the knowledge or information at my disposal in having a full understanding of the entire rule of traffic laws in this country, therefore I am at the mercy of the experience and knowledge of the Police force to educate me to what level or degree I have broken any laws at the time of the offence being committed."
(I honestly thought, I'd pushed it a bit too far, but if you'd have seen the pond life that were in the court before me, the judge probably thought, fuck me we've got a cheeky fucker in for a change! ha ha.
His reply was........
"Mr **** whilst I accept you cannot be expected to have a full working knowledge of the traffic laws in this country, you have admitted that the picture is indeed of a numberplate which is currently attached to your motorcycle and have accepted that you are the owner of this motorcycle and you were riding the motorcycle on this particular day. I would agree that you are entitled to be given a full explanation of any offence being committed, unfortunately, that thinking is a matter of principle and this Mr **** is a court of law, therefore I as a Judge have to rule against those laws and in this instance you have committed an offence to the explanation the prosecution has just explained to you."
I said " Fair enough, I will have to then accept what you give me today then sir".
£50 fine and no costs.
I thought "Get in there!" It was worth it just to get them two bastards off the road for was was about 6 hours in the end, they looked so pissed off too. ha ha.
True story that honestly, I thought, fuck it what have I got to lose.
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