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Post by bigkenxx on Nov 24, 2015 19:44:52 GMT
to kick it off , It was at dinner really hot summer day I had just sanded and stoned a long stretch of track and wackered it then I lay on a grassy bank had my dinner and must have nodded off , woke up to lads laughing and could just sense something on my face so looked in wagon mirror and they had stuck about 6 drowsy bees on my face ha ha ha I fell asleep another time lay on my front and the grab driver put the clam on my legs woke up I couldn't move thought I was paralysed the bastards
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Post by paddy on Nov 24, 2015 19:58:07 GMT
So your a groundworker then, well sounds like you do the burst water mains etc. Sorry no stories to tell, I'm a boring bastard  |
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Post by bigkenxx on Nov 24, 2015 20:14:26 GMT
Fella I've done most stuff , I started as a mechanic from bikes cars to hgv and coaches then plant then got in the ground working side but no water I do electric I can plant the pole , I've climbed them to construct them and now I'm learning how to joint cable hv and lv not done much climbing for a while
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Post by stellafella on Nov 24, 2015 21:47:08 GMT
Used to fuck around lots on the fishing boats, putting lobsters and crabs in peoples bunks,lots of shit jokes, just a big bunch of kids fucking around on boats, work hard play harder. when we'd get a new crew, used to send someone off to shit in a bucket, come up and dump it in a pot that had just come in the boat, poor new fucker then had to deal with a big angry crab with a turd on top off it. Another one was use to shit in a bag and go and pick up another boats shot line , tie the shit bag about 20 -30 fathoms down the line. They'd pick up there gear and by the time the bag broke the surface, there winch was flat out, its like a smart bomb. Cant do anything now-days, lose your job. Shame really I'll get my coat  |
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Post by paddy on Nov 25, 2015 4:17:27 GMT
I'll get my coat Best check the pockets first mate (boom boom) lol. Wear some marigolds when you do |
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Post by tonynitrous on Nov 25, 2015 9:05:20 GMT
Quite normal when a snake gets killed at work to put it in someone's car or ice box.
Not sure if folk are familiar with "flick lines / chalk lines" ?
A string line that builders use that is rolled up in a container of chalk.
You stretch the line tight, flick it, it leaves a calk line.
You roll the string up in its chalk container and it gets re-coated.
You can get refills to refill the chalk container.
I've seen the heater vents on a dashboard filled up with coloured chalk dust
and the fans set to "HIGH".
When the owner turns the key.... "WHOOOOOSH!!!!!!"
It gets hot around here, and folk eat a lot of sea food.
Another popular one is to hide the scraps from eating prawns
(heads / tails / skins) in someone's car. Behind the door trims or up
under the dash. After a day or two they STINK !!!!
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Post by tonynitrous on Nov 25, 2015 9:13:10 GMT
A farming one ?
A farmer I know shot a fox that was killing his chickens.
He showed it to his brother (who lived in Birmingham but only shot clay pigeons)
Brother said "You never shot that, it died of old age" etc etc and told him to get rid
of it.
When his brother wasn't looking he crawled under his van, wedged the fox between
the floor and the exhaust, and wired it on with a spare welding rod.
The brother drove back to Birmingham.
Apparently within a few days the smell could clear the street whenever he parked!!
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Post by stellafella on Nov 25, 2015 9:40:19 GMT
A farming one ? A farmer I know shot a fox that was killing his chickens. He showed it to his brother (who lived in Birmingham but only shot clay pigeons) Brother said "You never shot that, it died of old age" etc etc and told him to get rid of it. When his brother wasn't looking he crawled under his van, wedged the fox between the floor and the exhaust, and wired it on with a spare welding rod. The brother drove back to Birmingham. Apparently within a few days the smell could clear the street whenever he parked!! we use to do something similar with old stinking pot bait. Find the most rancid bit of skate possible and wire up in the engine bay, Like you said , after a couple of days it would clear the street  |
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Post by rusty on Nov 25, 2015 10:15:35 GMT
Not quite in the same league as you guys but I'm in the process of hiding one of my works mates vernier caliper everyday or switching tools around etc...it's starting to make him think he's going crazy lol
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Post by tonynitrous on Nov 25, 2015 10:27:58 GMT
Seen a dead roo picked up near the site, taken to work,
put in a port-a-loo, sat on the loo, hard hat on and a pair on Sunnies,
first bloke to head to the loo got a bit of a shock !
It's not unheard of, if folk keep parking where you tell them not to on site,
to excavate around their car, leaving it sat high on a pillar of earth.
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Post by paddy on Nov 25, 2015 18:44:45 GMT
I've just remembered I taped lots of pages from a porn mag to the passenger side of a woman's car once, then we followed her laughing at everyone gawping at her as she drive around not knowing a thing. I know it's not work related but I had just finished a night shift.
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Post by bigkenxx on Nov 25, 2015 19:22:58 GMT
Ha ha yeah I was in a plumbers merchants and a young lad come in and asked for Fallopian tube ha ha I stuck one of those exhaust whistlers up someone exhaust with a broom stick so he couldn't get it out , my grandad mates thought it would be funny to tie a rope to his side car as he rode off it threw him off he didn't laugh much and put a tin of cat food in the blokes top box and locked and snapped the key in it he said it was horrible. One of my favourites was when I was a coach mechanic there was a trainee working with his arms above his hand and my mate crawled on the floor with the oxycetaline and filled his trouser leg up then my mate lit it I'm telling you it was amazing a flame about a foot long come out off each leg burned his leg hairs off and singed his pubes ha ha
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Post by Estwing on Nov 25, 2015 20:54:19 GMT
When I was fencing and we were loading steaks into the back of the truck, I used to dip the other end of the steak in cow/sheep shit then pass it to my mate. At college we opened the bonnet of our lecturers car and pulled a spark plug and taped it into a lemonade bottle full of oxy/acetylene added an earth wire then put the HT lead back on. Also people that had steelies with toe caps on the outside got them welded together on almost a daily basis. And we used to let someones tyres down then hide around the corner. Then when they went to look for a jack, run out and pump them back up.  |
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Post by jiterbug on Dec 3, 2015 1:34:50 GMT
On afternoon shift we had a guy that just an ass. We got a nice oxiacetelne flame going then shut it off at the tanks. Filled up a garbage bag, taped it shut with an extension cord in the end. The extension cord was shorted across the plug with a piece of wire. Put the bag in a steel garbage can beside the guys machine, run the extension cord around the corner. Wait. When the guy is concentrating on something, we plug in the extension cord. BANG!!
We might have been a little optimistic on the oxiacetelene, it split the garbage can in half and moved the machine a couple inches. The guy went to empty his shorts.
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Post by jiterbug on Dec 3, 2015 1:42:04 GMT
Routinely, we put oil or antisieze on machine door handles and axis moving handles. Once that shit is on your hands, it doesn't come off.
Flip the display 180 degrees on the computer screen.
Sent the apprentice to the freezer to get the cold chisel.
Sent the apprentice to the basement for the shelf stretcher . . . no basement in the plant. HAHA
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